What can I say about a ten hour flight with no entertainment but an iPad? It was definitely an experience. I had extensively googled and researched China Eastern Airlines entertainment and I was certain that they would have an impressive catalogue to choose from. But no.
There was nothing.
I think thank god for my iPad, the 949 bucks I paid for this little beauty was defiantly justified on that 10 hour flight from hell. Now I am not a good flyer, I manage to control the myriad of anxieties that riddle my everyday life and I had to try a little bit harder this time as I was travelling not with my best friends who have seen it before, or by myself where I think who cares if these people see me hyperventilating into the vomit bag. So these were my only distractions.
I watched a Chinese musical on the communal TV screen 2 metres away but with the music and lyrics coming from Snoop Dogg and Dr Dre’s ‘Nuthin but a G thing’.
Found and diagnosed a suspicious looking mole on my arm only to realize 15 minutes later that it infact was chocolate from the Cadbury mini we got for lunch.
Distracted myself from the stress of flying by shopping duty free, of course I am drawn to the Marc Jacobs and contemplate purchasing 2x solid perfume rings and necklaces in daisy and Lola. Decided to put it off until the flight home.
Played sushi go round on my Ipad for like an hour.
Watched 2 Louis Theroux documentaries one about brothels and one about plastic surgery. Everytime someone walked passed including my professor there was a naked lady or some big boobs getting marked up for surgery. Awkward. There is something about Louis though, I would marry him. He is very pleasant.
Watched Easy A. major girl crush on Emma Stone. She is the new Lindsay Lohan, but can actually act. Don’t get me wrong, I am not dismissing Lilo completely I’d still go out and get cracked with her, but no more shit movies please Linds.
Watched 3 episodes of the IT crowd, I don’t know why English comedies are better. I mean does anything top IT Crowd, AB FAB, Black Books or the Mighty Boosh?
I then attempted to do a find a word but the highlighted leaked and went all over my face.
Next I accidentally scratched my nose causing it to bleed next thing there was blood all over my face and hands like a massacre.
I went to the toilet like 100 time, this is while I always request an aisle seat, one time I ventured up while there was turbulence and nearly got concuss when the plane jerked around and threw me towards the hand rail.
We finally arrived at Shanghai International airport in China and had to quickly board another flight to Beijing. This was around 10ish pm making it 12 am Sydney time so we were all very exhausted and pretty much all napped on this 2 hour flight.
Once we sat down I heard someone behind me say, ‘Is that smoke coming out of the air conditioner?’ I look up and see what looks like smog or smoke coming put of the vent and have a little internal freak out as again thought it was too early to let the freak flag fly. Turns out it is something the planes do to get rid of the humidity in the aircraft but shit, come on make it a different color or something.
Shortly after the take off I began to have the weirdest dream. I was on a really bumpy roller coaster, then I woke up and realized that it was actually the worst turbulence I have ever experienced (until the flight home) and it must have been reasonably serious as they kept announcing for us to sit down and that toilets were closed and if we were in the lavatory to hold on for dear life. Damn these stupid small jets.
I felt like I was in that scene from almost famous when the plane is about to crash but sadly I had no big bombshell secrets to reveal and as we really did not know each other we just closed our eyes and tried to ignore the violent shakes.
Eventually we arrived landing smoothly in Beijing and finally got to bed at 2 am.
What a day.
No comments:
Post a Comment