GRRR

There are so many things I want to say right now, but feel I need to finish these travel blogs before I say them, I mean I want to write it all down so I can look back and remember everything vividly. Something I wish I did with my world trip in 09,
but damn is it tedious.

I want to say things like-

How angry it made me to hear of people finding joy in Amy Winehouse's passing. Saying the 'junkie' deserved to die. Why can't people have tact and compassion and mourn the loss of a great songwriter who truly lived the pain she sang about.

Also how horrified I was to hear of the massacre and bombing in Oslo, Norway. Seeing the face of a terrorist who took the lives of 90 people, some terrified youths, smiling and saying he was going to wear a special costume in court, absolutely personified evil.

How excited I am for the next two nights, tonight going to the world premiere of Australia's Next Top Model. After being there in the studio for the finale last year with the royal fuck up that was live broadcasting, I can't wait to see what this season will bring. And tomorrow night seeing my main man Devendra Banhart at the Metro.

Also how while in China I picked up a random movie named 'Chalet Girl' starring Ed Westwick purely for some eye candy and in it he has his true English accent and is about 110% more sexy than in Gossip Girl. boner alert indeed.

The  depressing fact that university goes back next week and my timetable is appalling with massive breaks and extremely long days.

I also want to express how hard I am finding my personal 'No clothes shopping til Christmas ban.' Browsing on websites such as Asos and Nasty Gal is just no fun when I know I can't add to a basket.

But yeah I guess I better finish these travel blogs. These thoughts will just have to wait until I am finished.

Damn

x

Day 9 and 10. Hugh Grant and Hangzhou. 8th and 9th of July.

Friday was thankfully our last day of teaching the same song/lyrics lesson. It is funny how after the 5^th and 6^th time of repeating the same songs, sames jokes you seem to feel a little bit redundant and flat. But luckily we had some good classes today who at least pretended to be enthusiastic. After classes we decided to have an early night as we had to be on a bus at 7am the following morning for an excursion so Elise and I decided to grab something to eat and watch a movie.

We ventured into a Chinese supermarket and kinda ran wild and grabbed whatever looked appealing or had some English writing. I purchased a bottle of Apple flavored wine, to drink next night at the joy bar as beer was not doing well for my insides or my waistline. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to taste like shit. I threw it out the next day in my bin, and I see some hotel staff swigging from it shortly after. Good on them.

However on the dinner front we decided to brave street food. I mean it was potatoes how sick could you get. We braved some deliciousness from a man cooking potatoes in a big wok like thing, with spices and herbs out the front of the smoothie place where everyone would have mango smoothies. I succumbed once and my stomach hated me, but it was great I ain’t gonna lie.

Afterwards we watched ‘Notting Hill’ on Elise’s laptop and I gushed about how much I fancy Hugh Grant and how I’d totally still marry him, even though he has pasty English knees (huh Carly). But maybe not this Hugh Grant.

Next morning we woke early to depart for Hangzhou, which we were told was actually pronounced Hungchow. It was the the capital and largest city in ZheJiang province in Eastern China. It had a population of probably 4 million and had some spectacular sights! The ride in took almost 3 hours, but luckily I charged both my ipods so the music was a flowing. It had been so long since I had actually sat down and listened to some Pumpkins or Beatles so I just sat back and absorbed the scenery.

First stop was a place called West Lake. West Lake is a UNESCO World Heritage site which spans across 33km2, we walked across a bridge which translated to something like ‘Broken Bridge’, which they were very quick to assure us that it was not and never was actually broken. We then walked along the water past a number of wedding photo shoots. I am not sure if the were for a magazine or what but they were all beautiful. But I realized Chinese men in suits do not come across very masculine.

Next we hopped on the bus and went to a restaurant for lunch. The lunch was lovely, but I was tricked into eating jellyfish.

Next we went to a Buddhist temple, where we made wishes, ate lotus flowers and finally ended the night at a strip of markets and shops in a beautiful village. It was there that I was able to have my first Big Mac in weeks and let me tell you, it was amazing.

Day Seven and Eight. Teaching, Shopping and Singing.6th and 7th of July.

Still feeling a ill, I had little enthusiasm for my second day of teaching. However Elise and I decided to completely change our lessons. Instead of getting the students to discuss the lyrics, something which proved to be like pulling teeth we decided to play the song, go through the lyrics and discuss the meaning, then get them to repeat the lines after us and finally sing the song. This seemed to work well as it got the best response and made them actually participate.  Luckily we were in a computer lab both lessons so having the lyrics easy to read, was a big help.

We had  a boy actually fall asleep in class but hey, I would have rather been asleep too so we let him be, although it took all my might to hold back from doing a clap in his face to startle him.

That night we caught a bus into Ningbo city to have a browse and go to a restaurant the buddies chose for us. They really enjoyed being guides for us and it was great being shown around from their perspective.

The place they chose to eat at was quite fancy and seemingly exclusive. They let us all in despite the mass of people waiting for a table and we sat and began to order. We ordered around 8 dishes for the ten of us on one table and shortly afterwards the waiter came and informed us that as we were at this big round table we needed to order at least 600 RMB worth of dishes. Our total was only at like 100 RMB at that stage. Unsure of what to do and whether we could physically eat that amount of food, we pondered whether we just leave and find another restaurant the food started to arrive. We had no choice but to order more. We ordered every type of potato on the menu, ostrich, ribs, a chicken soup, pretty much anything we could find that seemed nice and was reasonable expensive. We also purchased a bottle of red wine for 288 RMB, which is approx.  50 bucks, making it the most expensive bottle of wine I have probably had. The food was all exquisite but sadly we were so full we nearly needed to be wheeled out of there.

After the meal we thought best head home as our buddies had a 10pm curfew. But alas we could not get a taxi so had to brave the buses. Now you have all seen those videos or pictures of public transport in India where there are what seems like hundreda of people squished into one carriage, well this was exactly like that. We forced our buddies onto one bus, and waited for the next one and squeezed in where we cold fit even if it was under the arm of a sleepy fat man holding on to the rail. But I am glad to say I survived.

Next day we were once again not looking forward to teaching but the classes were fantastic. So far we had sung some Slim Dusty, John Williamson, Men at Work and Christine Anu. We thought we better show them some Australian Rock and showed them a clip of ACDC. Now didn’t they enjoy that! Yes that is sarcasm. It seems that Chinese boys prefer the more placid music of boy bands, nothing with too much testosterone. However they did seem to get a kick out of Jimmy Barnes and John Farnham. Mostly they liked how I taught them to do Jimmy Barnes grunts and screams and made the boys act out moves like Mr. Farnham. Again, don’t think it was assisting in their English skills but at least they were having a little fun.

That night the buddies took a few of us to a place near their dorms that translated to ‘Double Bridge’. It was a few small streets lined with clothing stores, restaurants and other shops that after school were the place to be. With my own bargainers and advisors I purchased two dresses, two tops and some beautiful Tibetan bracelets. The buddies then took us to a restaurant, which cooked traditional Chinese dishes served in a hot pot. Now this was not really my cup of tea, but I gave it ago. While they were paying the bill a girl came into the restaurant and started yelling at me in Chinese. Unable to respond I waited for my Jessie to come and translate. Elise guessed that the girl had a brother that she wanted to meet, however the buddies said that she had a company and wanted me to model for her. However my buddies were quick to inform her that I was only in town for another week and was unable too. So there goes my modeling career. It was probably a company making dumplings for all I know but I will milk it for all I can.

We then met the rest of the teachers at KTV which is what they call Karaoke over there. We had an awesome night, with a few too many beers singing all the English songs which were popular to the students so you could expect some shocking renditions of ‘My heart will go on’, ‘My love’ by Westlife and I would have to say a stirring yet hauntingly beautiful performance of Bohemian Rhapsody. A song the guides had never heard before. We walked home a little tipsy, embarrassing our buddies by asking passers by if they would marry us in very bad mandarin. 我爱你 Wo Ai Ni.

Once had left the buddies we turned into our street only to find at least 3 police vehicles including a van and a number of uniformed men on the street, we just quickly bypassed them and entered our rooms. it was intense! I checked my closet for Chinese serial killers incase one was taking refuge I'm my abode. But alas, thankfully nothing.  I hope we find out the deal tomorrow.

Day Five and Six. Meeting our buddies and students. 4th and 5th of July.

This morning after our first major drinking session I was feeling a little dusty. Only to be made worse by the fact that I had seemed to have fallen into my old pattern of drunken overseas sleepwalking. I never have sleep walked at home, to my knowledge and I am pretty sure my parents would have informed me if I had. But it seems I make it a habit of walking out of my hotel rooms in foreign countries and locking myself out. The first time this occurred I was in Barcelona, Spain. We had all had a massive night with litre jugs of Sangria, beer, cocktails, shots and after retiring to my six person dorm room and passing out in my top bunk I come to a number of hours later wondering around the 5^th floor of the hostel in my pyjamas sans glasses. Second time was in Nice, France a few days later, similar situation had a lot of booze gone back to my hotel went to sleep and an hour later my friend wakes up to me knocking on the door to let me back into the room. I like to think I wake up needing the bathroom and just walk out of the room but really who knows. So back to present day I wondered around the hotel for a while, confused as to why I had my bag with me and my glasses this time as well as a shirt over my pajamas trying to figure out a way back into my room. It took all my self control not to grab my face and scream 'I did it again', like Macauley Culkin in Home Alone. After roaming the halls aimlessly and violently knocking on Elise’s door she finally let me in and I crashed in her room until it was a more reasonable time to go to reception.

Breakfast at the uni hotel of course consisted of rice, noodles and pork buns so all us teachers sought out the closest thing to a greasy burger which was in the form of a deep fried bread stick, kinda like a croissant. Feeling the effects of the amount of beer drank and the humidity I indulged in approximately 7 of these gloriously greasy things something I would regret the following day.

We were off this morning to meet our buddies and have a look around the university. We caught a mini bus to the college and low and behold they have a banner hung up across the front to welcome us. We then went inside to meet our buddies. My buddies name was Jessie, an English name she chose herself. She was the same age as me, with another year of studies to go also. But that is where our similarities stopped. She was a lovely person and such a great help to me on my trip. After our brief introduction we were taken to the first room we would teach in the following day and to our surprise there was a class in there and they were expecting to be wowed by the Aussies. A little taken back and a little hung-over we resorted to singing to them the vegemite song and Men at Work’s ‘I come from a land down under’. I wanted to rap but thought maybe that’s something for the next day. After the impromptu song and dance they wanted to hear all about our lives in Australia. What we ate, what we wore, what we did on weekends, how our schooling life was, what we drove. They were lovely students but were quite shy. Hope that our lessons would be easier.

After that tough crowd we headed back to the dorms to get ready for the welcome dinner we were to attend that evening. Our buddies were to attend and we were told that a number of the Chinese students were going to perform for us. There was such a great mass of food and of talents, we had boys hip hop dancing, who could pop and lock amazingly, we had opera singers, dancers, people playing instruments over all they completely wowed us and we felt as if we should return the favor and perform for them so we got up and did a shocking rendition of ‘I still call Australia Home’. 

The following day, our first day of teaching I woke up feeling quite ill. Probably a combination of the food, the beer and the breadsticks I had ingested the following day so was not in the cheeriest of moods to greet my classes. Our aim was to improve the students english through learning, singing and interpreting Australian classic songs. Unfortunately the students were not as enthused as we thought. The first two lessons were kinda a hit and miss, while we devised ways to engage the students as what we planned was not going to work. At one stage, despite my horrid stomach ailments I found my class flat-lining and I was beginning to get disheartened. So I had to bring back the smiles so I pulled out the classes leader, the typical handsome popular boy and made him do interpretive dance to Youthu Yindi's Aboriginal hit 'Treaty'. The smiles returned to their faces and I felt as if I was succeeding again, even if it was not helping with their English skills what so ever.

Day Four. Exploring Ningbo Unaccompanied. July 3rd.

Today we woke up and met together with the intention of exploring our surroundings and to get a taste of the area we will call home for the next two weeks. We thought hat better way to do this than head into Ningbo city and have a shop and look around. Now I had some idea in my head that the shopping centers in the city would be a little like Westfield’s or Centro Bankstown. I mean Ningbo was a small city in China in comparison to say Beijing or Shanghai despite it having a population of over 5 million people.

 Probably the hottest day we had on the trip we ventured away from our hotel and caught a crazy taxi to Ningbo town. The funny thing about how they drive in China is there is pretty much no rules or regulations. They do not use indicators; they rather go heavy on the horn to let you know they are coming up behind you. They do not wear seatbelts and even on a pedestrian crossing cars always have the right of way and they will actually hit you. This terrified me as crossing the roads was a torturous task, however observing the locals and how even when a truck or bus is violently honking at them alerting them they are coming up behind them, nothing phases them.

In the taxi we passed Chanel, Louis Vuitton and other high end designers and I had hopes for a Marc Jacobs store but no such luck!

Starving, having not had breakfast, we went to a restaurant where a lovely man translated for us as the door person was a little taken back by our lack of Mandarin. The thing about Ningbo is they do not speak English at all. We all had glorious food and drinks, drinks which actually cost more than the 30 minute taxi ride in, and the man downstairs even sent us up some freebies. Another example of Chinese hospitality.

It was incredibly hard to get a taxi home and while flagging down every car that drove past we heard a massive explosion, not knowing what it was we looked around one of the girls even asked a stranger through sign language whether it was gunfire and panic or horror did not register on her or anyone else’s face. I guess we will never know what it was.

After a nap we went to dinner with the group and we ordered by drawing images of the animals. Something, which proved quite successful as all the dishes I tasted, were fantastic.

Feeling quite defeated and exhausted and not bothered to endure the heat and being lost in translation I was beginning to think it would be easier to go to sulk in my room but a number of the group decided to go to the hotel bar called the ‘Joy bar’ for a few beverages to lull us off to sleep. It was a small bar on the third floor of the hotel, with a lot of neon decorations, flags from various Countries, a pool table, foosball table and a boxing dummy. They had all the common western beers and even Bacardi Breezers. The bar was supposed to close at 12pm so we thought we were safe to have a few and head back to retire with enough time and stamina to face the following day.

After a number of drinks, I lost count after about 10 we all got louder and louder, started to sing and dance. At one stage we were screaming Whitney Houston’s ‘I will always love you’ while leaping across the room in an interpretive dance off. Let me tell you teachers/soon to be teachers, know how to wind down and have fun after a tough day!

It soon came to midnight and we were not in the mood to stop the party so instead of winding down and heading back to our dorms we thought we would wait until they told us to get out. But no, they didn't say a thing. I think we left just before 4 am after we all had many the shot of vodka and green tea, supplied by our new international student friends from the university who also lived at the hotel.

After many conversations about life, music, god and other topics we were now very well acquainted with one another and have realized that we in fact have a lovely group and are bound to have a lot of fun over the next few weeks.

Day Three. Climbling the Great Wall. July 2nd.

Today was another early start in which we also had to repack our bags as we had a late night flight to Ningbo where we would be residing for 2 weeks at the University where we were teaching. Another delicious breakfast of rice and watermelon I was chowing down on Chinese versions of Pringles for energy for the ridiculously strenuous hike we were about to take along a section of the Great Wall.

Once we arrived at the Great Wall we set off through the shops and restaurants on the side, towards the entrance. To my surprise I saw a Subway and a KFC. After some fries I was ready to trek up this wall and with like an hour or so of time to see how far we could go before needing to turn back, Elise and I set out. The wall is incredibly steep in places and set in picturesque mountains although it is a shame that it is very smoggy with no chance of blue skies.

It was incredibly hot that day and I stupidly allowed my vain side to overcome any common sense and decided to wear a long sleeved top and a hat with my hair out. So fashion is pain and I was sweating like you wouldn’t believe. We would need breaks every 5 minutes and we got a little disheartened when we saw women in heels or adorable children overtaking us. Now come on I understand that Chinese women like to wear some sort of heel all the time, but lady please, you are walking the Great Wall. Come on.

Walking up we were once again stopped every so often to pose for photos with other tourists. Now my friend Elise was blonde so I understood her appeal, but as a brunette I was unsure of mine. Turns out that women in China desire to be pale and as I could possibly be the whitest person in the world they were quite taken with me. Lucky I did not do a home job of fake tanning before I left or I would have not met so many amusing people. We posed with women, children and even a few men who went for a sly grope. Each saying I was beautiful and being lovely as we awkwardly smiled and tried to communicate through the little Mandarin I knew and laughter.

We kept walking and walking and got to a section which I felt seemed to even out from its various peaks. Obviously the Great Wall goes for many Kilometers and it would take approximately 10 days to walk the length, so I felt I had done a significant chunk and felt accomplished. It was definitely one of the most awesome things I have done, as can you find an World icon as big as this? I purchased a plaque with my name on it and the date in which I walked it and headed back down with satisfaction of a job well done. We took a leisurely stroll down, mostly due to the fact that my legs could have given way and I would have fallen off the side never to be seen again, and to bask in the atmosphere.

Next we went to the Summer Palace. It was a former Emperor’s summer residence and by building this extravagant palace he apparently sent China into bankruptcy. It was a beautiful place with lots of willow trees, lotus flowers and had a massive 22 000 visitors that day. That just goes to show how big China is.

We went to dinner shortly after which was courtesy of one of our professor’s friends. Chinese people are very warm and hospitable and the meal was delicious as I was discovering Chinese beers were also.

There was no rest for the wicked after dinner, and we were straight back to Beijing airport to catch another plane to Ningbo.

We were not looking forward to the flight despite it being only 2 hours in length.

To my shock and horror when I boarded the plane and sat in my seat the stewardess starts yelling at me and shoving a piece of laminated cardboard in my face. Turns out I was assigned the emergency exit seat and had to memorize these instructions as it was my duty to save the plane and open the exit incase of emergency. Oh my god. I was just looking forward to a nice pleasant flight where I could sleep but no these extra responsibilities that came with the extra leg room had rendered me unable to sleep. I told one of the boys from our group who was also sitting in my row that incase of emergency they better be prepared to take charge as I would have a heart attack and die on the spot. From the diagrams on the instructional sheet I came to the conclusion that I would need to pull the emergency exit open, something I don’t even know if I would be capable of doing with these puny arms and assist with shuffling other people out. Pretty much sacrificing myself for the good of the other passengers. Yikes.

We managed to all chat about our background and things as a distraction, realizing we all grew up around the same place. However at the back of my mind the whole time was the fact that how ironic would it be if the time I sit at the emergency exit the plane actually does have an emergency.

Just as I was starting to feel comfortable as we made our decent, the light for the exit came on, just as a precaution like it always does but I nearly had a stroke. I think it took lie 10 minutes for me to get the feeling back in my legs. But hey I survived. And come to think of it the extra legroom was awesome.

We then got our luggage and boarded a coach to Ningbo University, where we were given our room keys and left to sleep. The rooms were quite modest, a little dirty but I knew it would be nice to be settled for a few weeks and not have to pack or catch a flight.

Day Two. Exploring Beijing. July 1st.

Today we were up at the crack of dawn ready for an early start at exploring Beijing. First we explored our hotel room. It was a business hotel with quite nice décor and some quite strict rules. Apparently male and female guests who were not married were not allowed to stay together in the same room. Also there was large signs in the elevator reminding guests not to pick up and hookers and bring them back. I guess businessmen get lonely on occasion. There was also some interesting items you could purchase in your room, as well as the usual mini bar items there was a kit in the bathroom with many the resource to make up for anything you may have left behind. It had toothbrushes, flannels, body wash, face wash and male and female private part lotion. And that is a direct quote from the tube.

There was also a smorgasbord of condoms and other such items, one featuring an image of Jenifer Lopez. I wonder if Jenny from the block knew she was a big hit on prophylactics in China?

We ventured downstairs for breakfast. Considering the only real food I had eaten so far was airplane food I was feeling quite famished and was looking forward to a delightful breakfast. Breakfast consisted of rice, watermelon and some watered down OJ. But I ate up as I would be a very grumpy traveller if I did not fill my belly.

We had a few stops on our agenda today, but due to the fact that it was 90 years since they formed the Communist party we were unable to get to Tiananmen Square as they had blocked it off in attempts to stop any protests or public panic.  In 1989 there was a protest in the square which resulted in soldiers opening fire and killing anywhere between 400-800 people. It was that protest where the infamous image of a man standing in front of the tanks called ‘Tank man.’ I was quite happy to move on to the next destination which was quite close by and to leave that eerie piece of history behind.

Next stop was the Forbidden City, otherwise known as the Imperial Palace from the Ming Dynasty. Now I would love to say that I had a lot of knowledge of Chinese history but sadly I was a failed psych major, changing to English, Text and Writing with many of my unit being creative writing so history was not my strong suit. So I just basked in the vibrant colour’s, mass of people and the cultural differences around me. The main, which I discovered, was in regards to Chinese men. Now China is a very humid place. So to cool themselves down, Chinese men, whether they be old, young, fat, thin roll up their shirts to reveal their midriff. Now that was fascinating and oddly repulsive at times but I could not look away. Here are some of my sneaky shots of this.

After walking through the Forbidden City, being stopped a few times to be photographed with a number of Chinese folks admiring us we departed for lunch at a local dumpling restaurant. Now I tend to make things difficult for myself by stating I am a vegetarian who eats Maccas, Hungry Jacks and KFC, but this restaurant was able to supply me with vegetable dumplings and they were delicious. However something not so delicious was the soups they had on offer. Below you will see chicken soup, and a nice fish soup. Both with a little something extra. Gross.

Before I hopped on the bus to the next destination I thought it best try go to the toilet as I had indulged in a few Chinese brewskies. Now the only problem being that Chinese people use squat toilets. Although I have gone camping before and had to wonder off into the woods at times, there was something about a row of squat toilets with no toilet doors that gave me stage fright. After psyching myself up for 15 minutes, making them lock the main door and turning on the tap I was able to go, and felt incredibly accomplished. After washing my hands and leaving the bathroom behind I was accosted by all the waitresses at the restaurant who wanted to take photos with me. Tough life.

Next stop was the Temple of Heaven. All I know about it was that it was a Taoist building, with an actual altar where one can stand to make offerings to Heaven. I impulse purchased a panda backpack. Everyone knows I love a good novelty bag. The thing about Beijing is you realize how big China is, there is always a mass of people everywhere but it hardly seems crowded. Everything is so spread out and nicely spaced.

We finished off the day with a stop at the site of the Beijing Olympics, where the buildings were quite impressive but I was too busy trying to figure out a way to sneak off and get McDonald’s. Sadly I didn’t.

Later that evening a few of us decided to explore Beijing on our own. We wondered around for a bit noticing many a group of folks dancing in unison to Euro Pop songs like the Vengaboys ‘Boom boom boom’. There were also people doing Thai Chi, playing Badminton, which my friend Elise joined in and slow dancing. For a city so large and on a day of which we would imagine intense atmosphere, Beijing was very pleasant and calm.